But, Free Palestine...
On escaping to the happiest place on earth the day Trump got re-elected.
It’s 6:35 a.m.
I’m at LaGuardia Airport in New York.
People are here. Like, lots of people. Waiting in line at security. Buying their Wendy’s breakfast. Browsing the overpriced souvenir shop.
Complicit in genocide. We keep going.
Trump is President. We keep going.
It’s the American way.
We just don’t give a shit.
A sentiment that has been shared a lot during the last year is: What would you do if you lived at the time of the Holocaust? Well, the answer is: you’re doing it right now.
It’s true. We’re doing it. I’m doing it.
Here’s a list of things I’ve done while simultaneously being complicit in genocide:
Gotten my nose pierced
Gone apple picking
Taken an acting class
Flown to Mexico to stay at an all inclusive resort
Hosted two writing retreats
Complained about a food order that got messed up
Laughed so hard I cried
Cried so hard I (had to) laugh
Complicit in genocide, we keep going.
Trump is president, we keep going.
I need to be explicit here: Though (IMHO) she and the Democratic Party lost because of their own shortcomings, I am not happy that she lost. I am also not happy that he won.
(my) Happiness though, is not really the point here.
Now, here I am, heading to Orlando, Florida on the day after the election, with the news that our next president is (once again) someone multiple people in my life refer to as “Orange Man.”
The results scroll across the bottom of every tv screen we pass, pundits pundit-ing.
Sleep-deprived, I see it, and feel numb.
Too on the nose: I’m headed to the happiest place on earth* while the rest of the world burns.
Here is a list of some of the things I did in the days following the announcement that Trump would be our next President, again (and on Day 396 of the U.S.-backed genocide of the Palestinian people):
Went down a water slide at the hotel pool (twice)
Read my book in a hot tub
Laughed at a goofy thing my kiddo said
Screamed on Big Thunder Mountain Railroad
Got completely soaked on the Popeye & Bluto’s Bilge-Rat Barges raft ride three times in a row (there was NO line)
Ate Dole Whip at Magic Kingdom
Took a photo, smiling in front of the Universal entrance/globe
Ordered fish & chips at The Leaky Cauldron in The Wizarding World of HP
Thought about the fact that I was doing all of these things while complicit in genocide
Did them all anyway
I don’t know that I’ll ever forget this comment shared by a Palestinian participant on a Zoom call I attended earlier this year:
“Before, I thought people just didn’t know.
But now that they know, I see that they just don’t care.”
I sadly cannot give proper credit, but this human’s words broke my heart open then and every time I’ve thought about them since.
We just don’t care.
Please, argue with me on this. We don’t. (And I include myself in this “we.”)
If it’s an “I care, but…” I don’t know what that means.
It’s “I care, but…not more than my own safety, security and comfort.” (Right?)
It’s contingent care. Care contingent on our own comfort coming first. Contingent on our own safety first. On our own job security and mortgage payment and car payment and… first…
Send this email
Make this phone call
Make sure my rights don’t get taken away
Go to that work meeting
Get my kid this Nintendo switch game
Watch this one episode
Ok, watch this one season
Ok, watch this one series
Our level of care is contingent on: Proximity. Color of skin. Humanization. Our own (sense of ) safety. First…and then… But, First…and then.
Over 40,000 people have been killed, while we’ve “but first-ed,” while we’ve prioritized these contingencies.
I don’t want people to live in fear. I don’t want anyone’s rights taken away. I don’t want the government telling people what to do with their bodies or who they can love or how they should live.
I don’t want the most powerful leader of the free world to be Donald Fucking Trump.
And. And. And. (Not but!)
AND
I want innocent brown babies to stop being murdered with my money.
Can we allow space for all of those things to be true?
I don’t want to try and simplify a complicated situation.
I also don’t want to complicate a simple situation.
To me, there are horrible things happening and about to happen. And, while we don’t need a rank order, the most horrible of all of those things is (to me) the fact that I am complicit in the murder of innocent people.
Like, when is the part where we go back to talking about what was still a problem before and continues to be a problem now?
The problem of brown babies being murdered with U.S. tax dollars from your pocket.
I stopped watching and reading even left-wing mainstream media so I’m not certain, but I have to assume that the mainstream media isn’t talking about this. SO, in case you didn’t know about it, I’m here to tell you that it is happening.
If you are reading these words, now you know that it is happening.
So, yes, boo Trump. Like, fuck that. It’s awful. A friend recently shared with me that calls in to the suicide hotline have jumped 700% since the day after the election. Another friend asked me, earnestly, if I’m going to come visit him wherever he ends up when he’s deported.
This is all horrific and disgusting and terrifying.
AND also, let’s not take this moment to dust off our pink pussy hats.
The white(-washed) feminism, woah-is-me-I-voted-and-she-didn’t-win-and-i’ll-see-you-in-four-years look is so 2016.
It’s distracting.
Free Palestine
Free Palestine
Free Palestine
*End Notes:
Since first writing the piece, I’ve learned that Disney World is considered “the most magical place on earth” and Disneyland is known as “the happiest place on earth.” I don’t care and I’m not changing the sub-title.
If you’re new here and want to read a bit more about my anti-Zionist Jewish identity and one of the main impetuses for the creation of this Substack, you may want to check out one of my first essays, “She Had a Premonition.”
Free Palestine.